Shafts of light

There is a way that is being shown to me that is very clear.

I read this in an article last night: "Michael may point the way with shafts of clear autumnal light, but we must choose to go that way". I am trying to forge my way forward, there is courage I must muster to make my vision solvent. I have so many self doubts and self-created fears. I have been here before and when I found my will to manifest, it really changed my life for so much good. There is so much wisdom in celebrating and acknowledging the seasonal festivals, I am living Michaelmas.

Thou shalt not should on one's self

I have been thinking about a couple posts I want to write and then the post I SHOULD write, which makes me think about all those SHOULDS I have in my life. Working in the gardens yesterday I was thinking, what if all my expectations and other people's expectations of me just go away? What if I no longer listen to the noise of all the should'ves and if onlys? If the labels of mother, partner, teacher, farmer... just dissolved. What is left? What is my core?

Creative spirit that only wants to express itself in service to others, the Earth, the Divine.I feel I can longer just work as a means to an end. I feel that a farmer is a most noble position, but it is not enough for me just to grow healthy, organic food- there has to be a deeper element of service, of community; a community that gives one the opportunity to be creative and fulfill spiritual needs alongside meaningful work. I am dreading another winter in isolation on this beautiful farm. I live in one of most beautiful valleys and that has been enough to fill me the first couple years here, but I no longer think it is enough. I am searching, I need some quiet, there are so many things pulling me in many directions. How does one just pull the cord and stop the train?
Several weeks ago I was driving from Vermont in the pouring rain through the Catskills and I heard an inner voice that said "SLOW DOWN". At first I thought, well I am going 55, that is slow enough. The voice said "NO, slow down- put your flashers on" This was a struggle for me because I wanted to get home after a long day and a long drive and I always drive fast anyways. But I listened and slowed down. 10 minutes later I came upon one of the most horrible car accidents I have ever seen, the ambulances and police hadn't even arrived. I realized that could have been me had I not listened to that voice. What is my inner voice saying right now?A time for listening. A time for removing obstacles. A time for slaying dragons.

image credit: Buddha's Ear
Louvre Saint Michel
Ganesh by Me at Kripalu

Then and Now

We are having further delays in getting down to the nitty-gritty of homeschooling. This was to be our first week of official homeschooling, but good a friend is visiting us for the week. We also had our organic inspection today and I am feeling like the work load around the farm is not really slowing down, so I am just not finding the time I need to really kick things off.

Amelia and Allegra:"Then"

A visit from a good friend is a very good reason to hang out and explore the woods, work in the fields, and play with kittens around the farm...and there is so much to talk about.

Amelia and Allegra:"Now"

For now, a quick preview of what we have started working on this school year:In addition to main lesson work, Amelia will be working on an independent year-long project. She is going to be working on a Shakespeare play in marionettes or shadow puppets. This week she is creating an out-line and goals of her project, which will include reading at least three Shakespeare plays, a unit study on his sonnets, and his biography. I am really enjoying this web-site as a resource. I will list some of the books we are using next time and I am very happy to take any suggestions you all have for Shakespearean resources.

Thanks to everyone for the welcome back to blog-land!

"I keep workin' my way back to you..."

We are nearly through the busy time of the year on the farm. I am trying to find time to post about our plans for the 2009-2010 "school" year. I am looking at all kinds of fun things for us to do this year, somewhat following the standard 8th grade curriculum in a Waldorf School. I have returned to reading the "Teenage Liberation Handbook" and I am also finding renewed inspiration after this issue of "Yes!" magazine came in the mail the other day.

Amelia will be coming back in a couple of days from her adventures on a Schooner in Maine and her tale of survival of "Tropical Storm Danny". So I hope to be back soon, I've been trying to keep up with reading everyone's blogs (just not commenting).

Vege

I think it is time for a bloggy break. The farm is so busy right now and there is not much time for me to read all the other blogs I really enjoy! Enjoy your summer, I will be back at the end of August.

Endless Mountains

We drove up to the New York part of our property today to look at the blueberries and hay fields, this is an incredible view overlooking the valley. Our farm is nestled way down in there, folded safely in the hills. They call this region the "Endless Mountain" region of Pennsylvania, appropriately named. I do love it here.The salad days of summer are here. Lots of greens to be had, beautiful to eat and beautiful to look at.The thing about cheap labor is that you gotta feed them! You have to watch or they will eat all your profits.This a beautiful photo of some strawberries we shared with some friends last Sunday (Regina has all the best dishes in the world). Amelia has done some work in their gardens and you can see some fun photos of her doing some daring deeds in the garden here.

The lavender is beginning to bloom. My friend Tammy and I planted 100 lavender plants last summer, they nearly all made it through the harsh winter and are rewarding us with their beautiful smell and blossoms.

Last year we had no days on the farm with significant rain fall, we were never rained out of a day of work, so we never had days "off". These past couple of weeks have been nice with all the rain we have been having, life is going at a slower pace. It has allowed me more time in my kitchen. I have had some successes and failures in the jam making department, finally giving in to using some natural pectin after making a rather lemony, runny strawberry jam. I think we have to go pick more berries as 12 jars of this is not going to last very long. A bowl of plain yogurt mixed with a couple of spoonfuls of strawberry jam is SO good, we are already finishing our second jar! It would be terrible if we had to live off everything I can or freeze because we cannot practice moderation, especially when it comes to jam or applesauce.

With the rain I have had time to finish up Amelia's Homeschooling portfolio, which I will share highlights of after we have our review, although I have shared much of what we have done throughout the year. I also bought a big stack of books from Bob and Nancy's for next year's 8th grade curriculum- despite all the threats of sending Amelia to public school because I feel so overwhelmed, I just can't see her there. We are making some less than "waldorf" modifications to our curriculum, but I do not have it all figured out yet.

With the rain, I am able to take long walks in the woods and hills. The whole valley is in bloom with "Multi-flora Rose". It is a nasty invasive plant that redeems itself this time of the year. There is a heady rose scent to the air that makes you feel like your feet are barely touching the earth as you walk in a state of bliss.

While Jerome is at the market this morning (in the rain) Amelia and I are thinking about what special meal we can prepare for him for Father's Day tomorrow. We celebrate everything with food, forget little gifties, it is all about excellent food and maybe a good bottle of wine. Which makes me think of how excited I am about this movie coming out in August. We will also celebrate the Solstice with a reading of "Midsummer's Night Dream" by the fire tomorrow.

With the rain Amelia and I had time to make some new signs for the market, Amelia drew the sunflower and I painted the lettering on this one.
Have a good rest of the weekend and I hope you find ways to fill all your rainy days.